Bernadette: My mother wouldn't let me ride a bicycle because she was afraid I might hit a bump and lose my virginity.

Howard: Bernadette say fo'shizzle to my nerdizzles.

Howard: I can't believe we spent three months in that frozen hell.
Raj: It's like a snowy nightmare from which there's no awakening.

Raj: You think your thoughts are pure gold, but let me tell you something they are pure caca.

Sheldon: You hit me. I'm bleeding.

Leonard: What's going on?
Sheldon: We scored. I'm the wingman.

Mary Cooper: Whatever. Jesus still loves you.

Howard: What do you mean you didn't get the job? How could you not get it?
Raj: You know, he's British, I'm Indian. Ever since Gandhi, they haven't liked us very much.
Leonard: Are you saying that he discriminated against you? Because we should file a complaint.
Raj:That's okay, a complaint's been filed.

Sheldon: Like a milking stool, my case rests on three legs. I will demonstrate that I was improperly instructed in driving by a woman whose lack of respect for society borders on the sociopathic. I will argue that the emergency met the legal doctrine of quod est necessarium est licitum, that which is necessary is legal. But first, I will raise a Sixth Amendment issue. I'm unable to confront my accuser, a non-human entity, to wit, a camera. So, to sum up, improper instruction, quod est necessarium est licitum, Sixth Amendment. My milk stool is complete.

Wil Wheaton: Hey, Sheldon. I just wanted you to know I'm really looking forward to wiping the floor with you.

Leonard: Ethyl alcohol inhibits electrical conduction in the nerve cells and stimulates re-uptake receptors of inhibitory neurotransmitters like gamma-amino butyric acid.

Sheldon: Koko learned to understands over 2000 words, not one of which had anything to do with shoes.

Dr. Plimpton: Can I ask you a question Howard? Do you like role-playing games?
Howard: Yeah, sure. In fact, I'm a dungeon master.

Raj: The Good Wife is on. I tell you, this is my new Grey's Anatomy.

Sheldon: Goodnight puny human!